Identifying my Identity Crisis

Sohana Mohanty
3 min readMay 4, 2021

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Faceless by James Oconnell

Do you know which is the most difficult question to answer?

No, it’s not “Does God exist?” or “What happens when we die?”

It is when someone asks you: “So, can you tell me about yourself?”

Anytime I am asked this question, I can feel my entire life flashing before my eyes.

“Who am I? What do I like? What do I not like?”

Recently in my MA Service Design course at UAL, we did an exercise to kick start our proposal development unit. In this unit, we get to explore topics that we have always wanted to, and that can help us make an informed choice for the research topic for our major project thesis (yes, it is as important as it sounds).

Miro Board Screenshot of the exercise

In this exercise, we all had to write our names (easy start right?), our skills (does “can lie on the couch like a comatose body for 24 hours” count?), our passions, our future plans (oh no), the kinds of people we work the best with, and finally all the opportunities and barriers for networking in the industry (barrier #1: I am an anti-social idiot).

The best (and worst) thing about such exercises is it really forces you to think. We spend so much time trying to meet deadlines, get on video calls, and tick things off our lists that we forget why we are doing what we are doing.

It made me think not just about the “whats” but also the “whys”.

For example, I know that I need to work on trusting my team members more in a collaborative setting. But the why of it is something I would want to take back with me. I am just the kind of person who likes to stay in control (I must be fun at parties right?), and working with people means there are bound to be some delays and changes in the plan. This MA program has really tested my innate qualities and makes me work towards being more flexible and sometimes just let go.

Me when things don’t go according to the plan

Another thing I wish to take back with me is to not be so harsh on myself.

To be honest it was so much easier to fill in the column for “Skills I need to work on” v/s the “Skills that I am good at”. We are constantly aware of the things we suck at, and I think it is a wonderful practice to take note of things we are doing right.

It was also amazing to read what my classmates have written, and it was interesting to note that what they thought as their “weaknesses”, are something I had never noticed having worked with them. So I guess we all are a little too critical of ourselves?

We all have similar passions, problems, goals, and our own unique ways of expressing them. That thought itself makes me feel a little less alone.

It reminded me of a quote that has stayed with me ever since I first heard it:

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I have known.” -Chuck Palahnuik

And with this, I am looking forward to learning more about myself, by learning more about others.

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